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Pk's pie fail

Never try to make a pumpkin pie at 11pm at night while exhausted.

A pumpkin pie burned black and crusty on top

More beauty shots of the epic FAILCollapse )


Hot peanuts

You know, the ones you buy in a little plastic tube, outrageously priced at about a dollar an ounce?

Well, maybe less.

I eat them so that I can stay up at night grading, and after seeing red (red #40, that is) as well as being unable to find them in the store, I decided to make my own.
There are plenty of recipes on the internet, but they all involved roasting the peanuts in oil, something I want to avoid.

Successful recipe for hot peanuts using dry roasted nuts.Collapse )

Ah, but you want to know what the fail was?
Somehow, when scarfing these down, hot pepper seasoning went the wrong place. Don't ask, I don't know. All I know is that suddenly I had the urge to sneeze, and after that I spent some time rinsing places you don't want to know about with tea.


Macaroni Eggnog Casserole

If your stomach wasn't turned by the title, then read on!

The eggnog went bad - when it does, it begins to ferment - it doesn't turn to butterbeer, or anything fun like that. It gets a vinegar taste along with all the good things, which makes it taste bad.

I broke my foot and lost my appetite. I didn't drink my nightly cup of eggnog, and so I had a quart of the stuff in the refrigerator and was loathe to toss it.

The macaroni casserole recipe was passed to me from my mother - I think she got it from her mother. If made correctly, it becomes something like the kraft macaroni and cheese you get in a box, except that it's fresh and quite good. I discovered this while trying to make my mac and cheese cheesier.

My mother has never made the recipe correctly. In her version, all the ingredients are stuck in a casserole dish and into the 400 degree oven where the turkey is also cooking, or in the top oven where the candied yams are cooking. You can't blame her. Ten hours of fighting grade school hooligans and rush hour traffic, and her idea of dinner was anything you could stick in the oven and call the kids to watch so it doesn't burn. Candied yams are fine done that way. Our mac and cheese usually was rock hard on top, but underneath, a delight of cheese and custard.

Isn't that what eggnog is? Kind of makes a custard if you heat it, right? So why not?
I experimented with half of the eggnog - a custard it does make, but a very soft one. The rest I put into the casserole.

Three cheese go into the casserole - for my mother it was sharp, mild and colby.  For me it is sharp, colby and monterey jack. Luckily, I had not used what is now my favorite snacking sharp, but I did use a relatively expensive one.

Don't do it at home. Don't do it. Cinnamon and nutmeg do not go with those cheeses - if it were just the sharp I might have gotten away with it. It looked great - the horror was in the eating, which I did of all four servings.
Next time I'll just give the eggnog to the cats.


Pk's pie fail

Never try to make a pumpkin pie at 11pm at night while exhausted.

A pumpkin pie burned black and crusty on top

More beauty shots of the epic FAILCollapse )


Bargain Shopping

I make lunches for Pk - more of a hobby than a service. I go to a discount store and get new things for her to try, I suppose it's a kind of fail that I don't ask her if she likes things changing all the time.

Muscle Milk Bars - FAIL
Tiger's Milk Bars - Success
Fizz Ed drinks: Orange Mango and Raspberry - success!
Apple - bleah
Cherry - fail

This time around I got some things for myself. That's right, even stay at home computer geeks eat lunch. At Sacks I got some more of the drinks Pk likes, plus from Big Lots the recent like (but only one six pack left) plus two of a new one - Mango Spritzer.

Pk likes mango.
But while I was buying mango applesauce at sacks, I spotted the deal of the century: jars of caviar for $2.62. Internet Price: $7 to $12. I got Red Lumpfish and Black Whitefish (don't ask, I don't know) caviar. I also got some calamata olives  and some sliced red peppers. I have cheese in the freezer. I also have gluten free crackers from another Sacks raid. Ah, and they had half gallons of whipping cream for $2.

What, you ask, am I going to do with all that stuff?
I am at a conference. What self-respecting conference would *not* have a fancy pants reception?
And I just bought a 62 cent t-shirt at the thrift store!

I will post a pic of the thread here. Meanwhile I am going to decide whether to go as a fancy pants guy or crash my own reception in my dilapidated t-shirt.
I'll let you know if I live. There is also eggplant pizza for lunch...

Banana Chocolate Cowpies

Waffles too.
The pancakes and the waffles were delicious. However, there were a number of mini fails.
Mini fail number one: If you think the dish is going to be good, write down the amounts. If you don't, it will never be the same...
Mini fail number two: If you make pancakes with chocolate cake mix, either put in some regular pancake mix or warn your guests that they will be eating faux cowpies.

1. Attempt to scoop out the apple core with a knife and spoon.
2. Jump in surprise as very cold piece of apple launches off the counter and lands on your foot.
3. Clean apple juice off foot.
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3.
5. Jump in even more surprise as another piece launches up and hits you in the face.
6. Clean apple juice off nose.

I need to get one of those melon ball scoops, because otherwise these things are dangerous. XD

Curry Goat

Note to self: if you don't butcher the goat yourself (and possibly even if you do), your curry will have bones.

Sharp bones.

Warn your dinner guests.

Reheating Pizza

Step 1 Develop hatred of soggy microwaved pizza
Step 2 Insert pizza and set toaster oven to toast.
Step 3 Set timer.
Step 4 Throw away burned pizza.
Step 5 repeat step 2 - this time put oven on lower setting.
Step 6 Repeat step 3
Step 7 consider repeating step 4
Step 8 Reframe. Eat blackened pizza.

When you put the toaster oven on toast, it ignores temperature settings. Nothing can be toasted for ten minutes.

Fried Corn and Lima Beans

Step 1 Decide to make succotash.
Step 2 Sit in beanbag chair while waiting for frozen vegetables to get warm (add lots of water to the pot)
Step 3 Decide to let it just simmer so you don't have to struggle to get out of the beanbag chair.
Step 4 Smell something burning.
Step 5 Transfer burned stuff into new pan. Add lots of butter so it won't stick this time.
Step 6 Sit in beanbag chair....
Step 7 Repeat step 4.
Step 8 Put it in a bowl and eat.

The last time I made this dish it came out nice and creamy, with this nice gravy. This time it came out with shiny corn and lima beans that were making a lovely cracking sound before I took them out of the pot.